Thursday, October 18, 2007

You See...

There comes a time every few months where i go back in time for plus hours looking through my old stuff from people on MySpace, messages especially, kind of like a real-time MySpace diary over the last few years. Not only am I looking at received messages but I am also looking at the things I have sent.

The point at which I am coming to in saying all this is, no matter how hard I try, I try not to get myself to distressed about the past. The reason I go over them is because, as someone once said to me, I am very nostalgic; despite that, I am not a great fan of the past, but I am not a great follower of science fiction, so I know that the great ball of fire in the sky will continue to rise and set. Unfortunately, looking back on what has happened allows me to realise how many people I have gained and lost over these short years. Alyssa once said the kindest things to me and now she secretly destroys my thoughts, Vanessa once was the greatest supporter of my worries, yet now she is with something that is meant to be greater than my friendship, Elise doesn't even bother seeing me at least once a month anymore and, Matthew. Matt was the best of the best and because of a threatening mistake he had made, I dislike even hearing his name. I don't know how I thought that the end of last year would start a greater year because despite Alyssa, the Mills' and the targeted violence that was set upon me, it's a ball compared to the brilliant beings I lost this lovely year of '07. I was introduced to limited happiness, nothing lasts forever and that's what sucks about beginnings, they end no matter how strong.
I am not going to say I hate life because life gives me the ability to type this, but I hate the way this world revolves around the appearance of better things.

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