Friday, January 30, 2009

The Overdue Pile

What I am about to say is long overdue, and that is to say thank you so much to Jessica Mahlberg for everything. My actions never reflected gratefulness and neither did my cards, for somebody who writes the amounts that I do; the single-sentenced cards are a guilt of mine to be burnt, so I guess it lead to tonight.

You are going back to school in about six hours and New Years may have beaten me to it but the school year won’t. I want you to start your HSC year knowing that I am so very grateful for what you have done for me. I want this to be something you won’t find on one of those obligatory cards saying thank you; pretty much, something that really blows that crap right out of the water. You have done so much for me, anything from baking me that cake on my seventeenth to simply caring for me the way that you do, the amount you have put in for me is far north of what was needed; when it comes to me, you have been entirely self-less. I know that, while you had spent all your generosity points on me, I was spending arsehole points on you, and in saying that, the word regret just doesn’t cut it. It just wasn’t our time and it hurts me just to say that, but it’s the truth. By the time we began dating, those generosity points that you threw at me like you were on a spending spree were all gone; I had my pockets turned out as I had found myself to be bankrupted of any feeling apart from anger and I even discovered that maintaining or creating friendship was a difficulty at that point. What I am trying to say in all of this is that it was an indirect fault of mine; I know that it does take two-to-tango and we both went through some purely pissed off periods of time, but I laid most of the groundwork for all of that to construct itself on; I am so sorry.

Also, I know you are worried. It seems that I am beginning to move forward, but I cannot stress enough that this is not the forefront to our friendship beginning its dying stages. I just want you to know, that now that our romantic ties have been completely cut and I may carry on with another, that our friendship will remain untouched and even though that physically, I may not be able to offer as much time as before, the time to be spent with you will be in mind, emotionally.

Finally, in the footprint that you have made on my life, I tell you, never doubt your self-worth. Sure, we all have our flaws, but as a friend, girlfriend or even as an acquaintance, you have so much to offer. For speaking words that I could speak, for caring, for loving, for remaining at a constant when everybody else hadn’t; Jessica Marie Mahlberg, I said that I loved you, and I meant it.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Religious Insanity

Trials for Parents Who Chose Faith Over Medicine

WESTON, Wis. — Kara Neumann, 11, had grown so weak that she could not walk or speak. Her parents, who believe that God alone has the ability to heal the sick, prayed for her recovery but did not take her to a doctor.

After an aunt from California called the sheriff’s department here, frantically pleading that the sick child be rescued, an ambulance arrived at the Neumann’s rural home on the outskirts of Wausau and rushed Kara to the hospital. She was pronounced dead on arrival. (More Here - or here if that doesn't work)

I was born into Christianity, but as time has progressed and my mind has further opinionated itself, I have grown more and more agnostic by the minute, one reason being because this world sees being faithful as a cigarette laced with drugs, one in which the world sucks way too hard and inhales way too deeply. Before I go on I must first clarify something, I do have some very strong and dismissive things to say about religion in general, things that will not be mentioned here this morning.

Each time I read this, I am only more horrified that the fact that a belief system that is entirely based on faith with a book written by people that weren’t even there in the first place and preached by people that are only on our level of knowledge was chosen over there daughter’s well-being, that some concept of faith healing that they simply read off some idiot website was motive to simply sit back and wait. Suddenly religion has become the node in our brains to make our decisions, that isn’t called faith, that’s called insanity. They shouldn’t be tried for reckless endangerment, they should be thrown into an institute for being psychos because, being religious is one thing, but when it comes to life and death, it shouldn’t matter if you’re Christian, Islamic or Satanic, you choose life; if you’re a Buddhist and you’re in a locked room getting your leg hacked off, you punch the person doing it; if you’re having a rapists baby, you have it aborted; this is human nature people, it isn’t a difficult concept to grasp, so why is eleven year old Kara Neumann dead? Because we live in a world of insanity, where natural human logic has been replaced by man-made faith, where a decision so simple has been a garbling failure, such as this one, because of religion. I am stoked by the article alone and the number of people that have commented with recounts of similar dilemmas; in my opinion, it only proves how many weak minded and na├»ve people we live amongst. This is my primary issue with religion, not as a whole, it’s not even about religion, not the guidelines, nor the worship, it’s the people, and how they stupidly react and fuck up normal (yes, normal) human behaviour.

I say the following with absolute subtly possible; your life should not revolve around your faith, your faith should revolve around your life because your life is your life, the one and only, and that goes for anything, be it work, school, your social life, there is no two ways about that, so anybody that will choose to wear a Hijab, sex after marriage and the rest of it are obvious signs of a problem with religion and the way people follow it. I’ve said enough.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Death is Imminent

A few Christmases ago, my Mother cried out of gratefulness that her parents were both sitting at the table with us and it got me thinking, how many Christmases are there to go until they won’t be? You see, not knowing who or when is hard, yet knowing who and that it’s soon is harder.

Naturally, our elder relatives die, we mourn and finally move on, I have no issue with this, but it’s Mum. Her parents are still all-in-all a large part of her life, I mean, watching her cry about them being alive was hard, how much harder is it going to be to watch her shed those tears because they’re gone? Every day just brings me closer to such an inevitable event; an event I would much rather sleep through.

A bunch of sleeping pills or some Rophonyl would be awesome, because on top of the three I have already attended, there are another three which aren’t too far down the road, another black tie to wrap around my neck, another pair of shiny shoes to commemorate the darkness that has ended a life and began a whole lot of comfort coming from my end; I love my Mother.

Friday, January 9, 2009

An Over-extending Extended Holiday

When you’ve spent the entire year counting down the days to several sets of many heart-wrenching questions, spending every night in somebody else’s bed or not in bed at all may feel a tad peculiar to most. A taxi here, a bus connection there, day-by-day your accounts drop by the hundreds, always using different shampoos, or staring into the mirror of a different atmosphere as you’re brushing your teeth; yeah, that’s pretty much the life.

Anyway, the question is, when you are taking the gap year that I am and your two month Christmas holidays are extended by another twelve, you can tend to feel pretty over-extended and sick of seeing, well, anyone, to be honest, that’s when the question arises, when does it end? When do I stop? I have no school to go back to, or university to begin attending, or some big job to start, as far as now is concerned, my circumstances will remain the same when some of my friends go to do their own HSC, or some others begin at Uni at the commencing days of this year, I will still be toasting waffles at the same work and spending my nights in places that aren’t my own, so, I stress again when does it stop? When do I start saving money instead of putting it into Taxis, or getting my priorities straight?
We will just have to see,
I suppose.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Selfish Oblivion

This picture was taken a few months ago at a quiet intersection around the corner from my home; one Ute, two sedans, around three o’clock in the afternoon. When three cars are involved in a serious accident where children coming home from school are bleeding from the head, one car is in somebody’s front yard and another is flipped in a quiet street limited to fifty kilometres an hour, there is a problem; when the obvious culprits escape injury, yet infants do not, we have a bigger problem, the entirety of this problem is an act of simple, yet selfish oblivion.

Don’t misunderstand me, this maybe the first time in which I have managed to snap a shot but this wouldn’t be the first time that this has happened at this particular spot, or the first time the care flight helicopter has had to make an emergency landing in this block of houses, not to mention the rest of this nation that are being victimised by the people who misuse our need for transportation, let’s look at fifteen year-old Lucy Lieberman for instance, who died last Saturday night when her brain-dead boyfriend wrapped there vehicle around a power pole, killing her and leaving her boyfriend to walk free. Let me just say one thing about that, what the fuck! How does this happen, or even the above, these people are stupid to think that even a microcosm of intelligence goes into dangerous driving; they are a disgrace to us as humans. Not to mention the disgusting manor, but what about the neanderthalic fraction of our population who walk into these dangerous situations at there own free will, such as Lucy and her friend, Ebony, who was also in the car with the couple, they too were as idiotic as the dip shit with his hands on the wheel, and look what Lucy’s selfish oblivion cost her, her life.

Sure, accidents could happen any day to any safe driver, but there is no way that things like the above can happen while all involved have followed the road rules. We have these people who can turn a simple vehicle of transportation into a weapon in ten seconds. Instead of being revved on, these imbeciles should be shunned upon society much like any murderer or paedophile is, because after all, as last weekend has demonstrated, they have killed people, some adults, and some children;
Grow the fuck up.