Wednesday, March 18, 2009

One Jumped Hurdle

Most of my friends are hopeless disappointments, they wouldn’t know initiative if it fell out of the sky and into their lap, but I don’t say that as a negative thing, I say it more as something that has become a natural event that I no longer have the will to waste time in delaying. This has been years coming, hidden deep in the recesses of my brain; the ability to not give a shit about the people I…errr…love? A while back I realised that with zero result, I was dedicating so much of my time worrying about events that were inevitable regardless of what I did, and as a result I was losing touch with the people that have never required this type of extra-curricular effort and, more importantly, I was losing touch with myself.

With their total lack of initiative, I have slowly come closer to lacking the emotional-resources to keep these friendships glued together; that is the point I have reached at present. I am at total exhaustion-point; I mean, how could you blame me with the excluding, drug-taking, school-drop-out, never-home, criminal-associated people I used to call friends; I even wonder if there is anything worth saving anymore. I will no longer account for the initiative of ingrateful-people just because after so long, some idiots still don’t know how to take the simple and appropriate measures that a healthy friendship requires.

So, stepping aside from my new-found ability, I have a question, and that is, is it that I have essentially grown by lightning up as a person, or am I just subconsciously following the natural transformation from teenhood to adulthood? The whole Garbage-in, Garbage-out bit? I mean, it would make sense, my friends and myself are at an age where parting ways is a high-risk factor where we may move onto other friendship groups, onto another paramour, onto different venues of education and employment, onto more potent substances, a more immediate route for intercourse; regardless of if it’s one or the other, or both combined even, it’s still happening.

It’s all for the greater good, and sure, losing a large chunk of my friends doesn’t sound great on paper, but I am happy, and in future, be happier worrying about my own problems and having appropriate control over my own actions. In worrying about things unique to my persona, I have time to put effort into something that will rise from my time-spent, and not inevitably fall.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Troubled Sociopaths

Just something that has been of a minor nuisance the last few months, it's the garbage that is brought up among people. Sure, through my two-legged-transportation through the eighteen years of my life, I have committed to a garden-variety of dick-moves and overly harsh words, so fine, if you genuinely can't get over one of those particular days where I was either too naive, too pissed off to care or just mindless to the people that are around me, then you are granted; be pissed off 'til your hearts content.

But this is not the case in point; it's the fact that all you little immature morons that have this sociopathic addiction to incessantly attempt to get some sort of rise out of me by flushing up words that I breathed four years ago in the city just because you can and just because you thought I would be mind-boggled by actually believing that being called an areshole is more fact than fiction, then go mess with somebody else. You see, this blog is your rise, but at the same time it's your total fulfilment of gravity and your complete lack of refuge; just because your a sociopath doesn't make me an arsehole; by the way, in simple terms, that means that you are falling.