Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Self-sympathy

So, here I am, this is what it's like to be alone. While you walk the streets at a time like this, wallowing in your own self-pity, do you go to a bar and spend the money you would have spent at dinner getting plastered, get the next bus home and be more alone than you are now or just do what you're doing now, fuse words together while zig-zagging through the big groups in a virtually empty street that you don't go to often. You see, when the only person you really want to be with drove away with a friend because you told them to and the only two people you'd actually consider friends won't pick up their phones, those seem to be your only three options at this point. All I've wanted to do all day and still do is casually go to dinner with the only person I care about. You see, I'd go home but for some fucked reason, I am waiting for a call that isn't coming, a person to bump in to just to weigh down. I'd go home, but here is the closest to not being alone that I am going to get tonight, I predict. Wallowing in self-pity and weaving between so many happy people; I think this is the loneliest I have ever felt in eighteen years.
- from the streets of Parramatta

1 comment:

  1. If I could bring myself to leave the safety of my room and leave my own self pity and loneliness behind, I would join you in a heart beat... But here is safe, nothing more can hurt me right now. I'm safe for another few hours, until it all starts again tomorrow and the pain drags on.

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