Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Composed When Composing

So this will most likely be my last one for this year and my first for a little while now, for both of those I have reasons for. There have been a multitude of things going on this last fortnight, I am sure that it has been like that for most around the world, however, there still have been times where it’s been necessary for certain thoughts to be suppressed and times where they have needed to be squeezed out, hence why blog material has been in the lacking and I also now have an idea as to what this dying year should see from this blog's exit from the current decade.

Me? I read many blogs, some that reach a more profound level of sincerity than this one ever has, but one thing I tend to always notice that those people do wrong with some of their posts, often making it hard for me to even return, is that you can tell that they had written them while under the nasty intoxication of anger. Ideally this would be fine, but unfortunately as humans, our moods have a tendency to overcome us and when an angry one strikes, we, and by ‘we’ I refer to humans, are notorious for reacting quite over-dramatically and when in such a state, you're better off sleeping on the dissertations for the day, if you ask me. Take it from me, negative feelings can often reflect poorly on the sentimental quality of your emotions and the words you use to express them. So about my posts or lack thereof - when I am angry, I’m as over-dramatic as humanly possible, this is why I haven’t posted too much of late. Despite having written a lot privately, I have been struggling to birth something that I feel comfortable about others reading, not because of the content but more the bad mood I was in when writing the pieces. You see, in light of my past dramaticisms, a year ago when creating this site, I made it a strict rule not to write when I’m not feeling as composed as I could be, I mean, I wasn’t prepared to create a blog to fill it with what I’ve dreaded reading on other peoples blogs, that would be illogical. It’s just my method of prevention, I don’t wish for anyone to switch on the page and see paragraphs of insults or to see how utterly miserable something has made me with no resolve, nor do I want to wake up the next morning in the hangover of moody-writing only to read paragraphs of profanity and self-sympathy. So I suggest that you consider that when you find yourself about to post, ask yourself: Was I composed when composing?

The reason as to why this might be the last post date-stamped ‘2009’ is for similar reasons. This year I haven’t been the happiest of campers, hence why I have been hiding my thoughts, although, I must admit that I am very pleased with how my Christmas has turned out. So as a result of my vocal struggle, there is now a good list of different things I need to get off my chest (and off of my incomplete blog list) which were notes that I really didn’t want to end the year on, and more importantly, the decade. Leaving it negatively, especially with the recent Christmas season, really isn’t what I want, written angrily or not.

So ‘09, I don’t have too much more to say for it really. Although not a lot has changed, I am beginning to take some of the things that have worried me into my stride and all the other things I will deal with in due time, so for now I will just say that I hope you had a great Christmas and that you have a fantastic New Years.

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