Saturday, December 12, 2009

A Few Things

Just a few small things that have been my mind lately.

Horror Movies are a group activity
I am more of a comedy/ drama guy when it comes to films, but on the odd occasion that I find myself watching a bunch of teens smoking weed out in the bush only puffs away from being gutted, a guy in a contorting-contraption that is literally dividing each bone in his body or even a woman being raped by mutated-males just so that she can shoot out a mutant baby of her own, I feel that those moments are better enjoyed with company than on my lonesome like it’s some personal montage of muscle-clinching instances. It isn’t a fear thing, but I prefer to stomach such horror with someone that is going through the exact same psychological trauma that I am going through, that’s all.

Slang regarding Food
I have discovered that I love any term related to food. Some of my personal favourites:
  • Peckish (meaning ‘somewhat hungry’)
  • Chow Down
  • Polish off a box of…
  • Devour
  • Attack
Flavoured Milk on Soy?
Gladys and I came up with this one: We know that it is possible to buy it in a carton from the supermarket, but we were a bit puzzled as to why chilled flavoured milks in a bottle were only available in light milk as an alternative to full-cream, however, not available in a soy alternative. So subsequent to this mystery, in the imaginary land that is our brains, we plan to open a company, much like Oak and Moove, with the typical flavours of Chocolate, Strawberry and Ice Coffee, however, to serve those that make up the fragment of the population that have issues with the digestion of lactose.

One-on-one beats all
My social abilities are much-like writing a script, I prefer only two people in the conversation, including myself, that way there is less people to keep track of and therefore less chance of interruption in the overall flow of a potentially fantastic conversation. I always feel like more can be achieved as the conversation remains on more of a personal level, whereas with a group, things said are more like announcements than spoken-words between friends, therefore things are always left unsaid and bottled.

Aldi & IKEA
How many people are these foreign companies hiring? These places are sometimes below understaffed. In Aldi, I have literally walked in and there has been one checkout-chick and that’s it, almost like that day on the roster was just blank with the exception of her name; I am serious, that simple guy unpacking boxes you would usually find at Woolworths was nowhere to be seen, not one person was just walking around looking busy, like you would see in any store. At times it has gotten to the point where I have become more intent on seeking out assistance than I did in finding the item I was initially looking for.

Rappers without anything to say
Two things that really grind my bones when I am listening to music, rap in particular:
  • I am sick of hearing black guys talk about how once upon a time they hardly had any respect and only a few dollars to their name, and now they have more money and respect than a god. One person said it in a song and that was enough, now some artists find it hard not to include how they went from rags to riches in a song; it’s sure to become the new ‘yo, yo’ phrase that they say before each track.
  • “I’ve got my mind on my money and my money on my mind” This is not a lyric! It’s a clever way of stating a somewhat obvious and general fact. Tell me, excluding Buddhists, what person doesn’t have their mind on their money, not to mention rappers?
Stickers that Elvis had issues with
So, it’s the 21st century, and most of everything that we use day-to-day is usually a refined version of its predecessor, we have learnt from our mistakes, new materials are being used and new methods of how those materials should be manufactured have been discovered, however, it would seem that there is one minute intricacy of our daily use which has managed to remain impervious to our advancements over the last century: those damn stickers that come on newly purchased items. For some reason, nobody has invented an affordable sticker which won’t leave a sticky residue when you try to take it off of your CD cover; I am still waiting.

Fictional Wedding Day Clichés
Every time I see a wedding scene in a film or on TV I am just like ‘here we go’ then I follow it with a roll of the eyes, I can always just taste something about to happen when I see that church. It would seem that writers don’t know that people actually have normal, successful wedding ceremonies. This is the usual formula for these clichéd fictional-weddings: The priest, the groom and the rest of them are waiting at the altar, they play that song which has never been played at a wedding I have attended, and then the bride walks down, if she showed up of course - you can’t forget that milestone. So she’s at the altar, he’s at the altar and of course then some guy shows up and everybody must STOP THE CEREMONY AND LISTEN TO ME, I am only seconds away from whipping out some eloquent, ceremony-ending speech about love, I mean someone correct me if I am wrong, but is this happening as frequently as it does in the fictional universe, if at all? Who here reading this right now would wait til the wedding day to profess their feelings only to look like some douche in front of a congregation of people to a woman that looks to me like she has already made up her mind? Anyway, some of my favourite movies have this scene, usually at the end, but the next time I walk into a cinema and see this, I may just walk out, especially if she ends up with the guy not wearing the groom’s outfit.

1 comment:

  1. Amusing and intriguing as always ry.

    Particularly enjoyed the descriptions in your 'horror movie' section.haha