Saturday, May 29, 2010

Follicle Physicians

I am hard to please when it comes to my hair and the hairdressers that I visit; always have been. When the time for a haircut rolls around, I look at it as a bit of a chore, simply because it just means the reboot of a series of good and bad periods of hair, particularly due to length, and also a trip to a hairdressing salon that seems to have walls made of glass. I’ve always just wanted to eliminate that series of differing hair-lengths altogether, either by growing it long, getting it cut more regularly, or waiting for a gypsy to curse me with the power to freeze my hair in time, but unfortunately, these either prove to be impossible or collectively expensive. So with the absence of a wealth and a magical endowment, I’ll need to deal with the many drawbacks of not being bald. Knock on wood.

First and foremost, I hate the week following a haircut. To me, that week is a bad time for every short-haired male. Like shoes and clothing, a haircut needs time to be worn in, so to speak. You need that week for people's eyes to adjust to your hair so that it’s no longer a head of hair that's just had a cut. You might even need that week for your scalp to correct any imperfections which were overlooked when your silly barber took that phone call (they always have to take it). If it wasn’t for work and class (and perhaps even life) these weeks would probably be best spent indoors. The other issue is the immediate time after. As you know, haircuts are messy, which is why I see them as the inconvenient end to any day. It’s always a risk if you foolishly carry on with your day as normal - your neck is still partially covered in little bits of hair, it'll look like you’re molting each time the breeze picks up and there is also the chance of itching, so as a general rule, I always spend the time after a cut hanging out in my shower at home before I start hanging out anywhere else.

Secondly, I would compare getting my haircut to having my pants down, so the last thing I would want is to be seen…by anyone. Think about it - you’ve got several different hair styles happening at the one time, your hair is wet, you’re covered in your own hair, your neck is sometimes contorted into a strange position, and you have a dressing-gown on, meanwhile, there are these panes of glass allowing the one hundred different people walking by to have that laughable sight of you in clear eye-shot. Aside from price and quality, finding a hairdresser that doesn’t make me feel like a clothing-dummy was once the biggest influence on my final decision, but it was a bigger challenge than I anticipated, so I gave up, which is more than evident. My loyalty now lies with this local place, and has for a few years now. What makes my forfeit more than evident is that this place is the epitome of the display-room-salons that I speak of. Not only does this place have a hefty amount of window to it, it's outside, it’s beside the entrance to big shopping centre and it’s on a busy street which buses frequent, so whenever I get a haircut, rest-assured, everybody can see me.

I don't know about you, but I could also liken a visit to the hairdresser to visiting the doctor. First of all, you usually have to wait in that queue for an endless amount of time, then you’re seen to by the professional and you get done what was intended, however, there never seems to be that hairdresser-customer confidentiality that you get with your physician, quite the contrary, actually. You see, while I’m in there, I don’t want someone bursting through the door of that doctors office, the same way that I don’t want people looking at me while I get my haircut, I mean, I’m hardly comfortable with the doctor being around, let alone others, and I’m just the same with my hairdressers; the least amount of eyes - the better, in my opinion.

Personally, I feel that the ladies are pretty lucky with hair, simply because, by tradition, they have long-hair. Aside from the hair treatments that they get done, they’re lucky because I’ve found that long hair typically doesn’t need to be cut as often and when they do get a simple cut, it’s often hard to spot.

So, that’s my whole spiel on hair – and hopefully now the next time you go to the hairdressers you feel as threadbare as I always do, even with that gown on.

1 comment:

  1. You HATE haircuts, my gosh!
    i get a haircut a year.. so i guess what you're saying about the womenz is true. And alos, the first week of a haircut is best for women because it's all flicky and styled.. then it starts wearing off.