With Absolute Pride

In job interviews, I’ve been asked questions like 'are you a fast learner?', 'would you say that you are good with customers?', 'do you deal with stress well?', and I have always found these questions to be quite redundant, which is only an accurate reflection on the answers I give to them in response - I mean, anybody who answers these questions negatively might as well put ‘don’t hire me’ in bold-capitals on the header of their resume - however, there was always a typical question which I could retort positively with one hundred percent confidence, 'are you a hard-worker?’

I’ve worked part-time for a little over three years now. I've had a few jobs; two solid ones. Although at times it’s been taxing work, it’s never been overly difficult, with that been said, I can say without a doubt in my mind that there isn’t a cent that has ever been credited to my bank account that I didn’t rightfully earn. Why does this need saying, you ask, well, there’s this funny little tale, it’s about me and how I spent five months last year earning money by being a minimalist employee, about flying under the radar or some such nonsense. Why anybody would think of me as someone who slacks off has me scratching my head, I mean, I may not be the quickest of all learners and I am pretty clumsy - how I lasted so long in hospitality is beyond me - but in no way does that say the same for my ability to keep busy. I’ve done ten hour shifts through a dinner rush on a fifteen minute break; I’ve gone all out for single customers without hesitation; I’ve gone beyond the job description; I’ve extended and taken shifts; I've given up staff parties, Christmas eve and New Years eve afternoons, even when I have asked otherwise; so no dick-witted manager is going to tell me that I am any different. I will not be bullied by ignorance.

From the first shift of my first job to the last shift of my last job, I never once thought that this type of self-analytical writing would be necessary, I never once thought that I would need to defend my work-ethic, but for a reason that’s a mystery to both me and others I have told, it seems that I now have to make this sort of thing clear. Anybody that disagrees with anything I have just said, I can say with absolute pride, is sorely mistaken.