Sunday, December 11, 2011

Gay Purgatory

I'm as straight as they come, so the whole gay marriage dispute doesn't really affect my life at all, but that doesn’t seem to stand in the way of it getting me as frustrated as Lewis Black on a rainy day. In the past, I figured it would be something that would never actually happen so I've generally been pretty blaze about the whole thing, but recently, something changed - I had a bit of an epiphany. I started putting myself in a homosexual's shoes (but not their pants) and I've realised how fucking irate I would be if I had to put my life on hold because of something I was born with to fight a battle that will inevitably be won anyway.

It usually starts with the hypothetical question 'what if heterosexuality was the weird thing and being gay was seen as ‘normal’?' And as I ponder for an answer, I realise that my life would be as follows: birth in a time slightly more discriminatory than it is now, confusion for a little bit, then discovery of the vagina, meeting one I want to be with for the rest of my life and then, while all my gay friends are pairing up and getting married, some bunch of fuckwits tell me that my girlfriend and I can't live as man and wife because it makes them and their god uncomfortable. So then for the next decade, I have to sit in the government’s version of a doctor's waiting room, living in some sort of pseudo-marriage waiting for actual marriage to be approved, all the while taking time out of my day to attend protests, lobbies and rallies. If I were gay and I found out that my love comes with a homework assignment, that vein above my right-temple would explode, with my chairs, my moisturiser bottles and my Sex and the City box set being hulked across my house.

My biggest gripe, I guess, is realising the fact that it can either happen now or later, but either way it's going to happen. Everybody knows that right? It's becoming more abundantly clear every week of fighting that the gays are nearing the pinnacle of this same-sex marriage mountain they've been climbing for decades. Since 2001, there have been a number of national and state legislation passed allowing same-sex marriage, with more adding to that list every year. Federal recognition in the United States is also currently under review and here in Australia we are seeing more and more politicians warming to it (wish I could say the same for our party leaders though), with the possibility of a conscience-vote. So, if it's going to happen anyway, why not just do it? It’s so simple, so why do governments insist on wasting people's time, that's my question? If not for the people, how about for their own image? I'd hate to say it but if I were a public-figure, I would rather forfeit my principles than appear as a dismissive and prejudicial person.

Ah! How silly of me; it’s religion!

Religion is the petroleum that keeps getting thrown on this fire. It's my personal opinion that religion is really becoming irrelevant in relation to this issue. I don’t even see the whole notion of marriage as a spiritual act anymore – it’s not about God, it’s about the chick I want to bang for the next eighty years. People may not agree with me here but I feel that somewhere along the line, marriage got severed from religion and became secular in people’s eyes. That's the way I see it anyway, I mean, I'm quite anti-religious, but I'd still get married, in a church even; the ceremonies are beautiful. So, if it’s not just me and that is the general-consensus on marriage, can we really keep playing the religion card? A card that, of course, doesn't come without its holes. Murder me for repeating what has already been said, but an article I read recently brought up some good points that if the whole gay marriage issue boils down to the fact that a woman plus another woman won’t equal offspring, then what's the word on people suffering with infertility? How about elderly women? Or elderly men, for that matter? Our politicians don't seem to be drawing any attention to the men who shoot blanks who get married, but when two people of the same-sex who will probably end up taking a kid who was abandoned by his 'normal' parents out of foster homes and into healthy ones, that's no good. Unfortunately, I say this, not to tease or force my views on religion, but to illustrate that not only are people's time being wasted here, but it's being wasted on the basis of broken-logic amplified by broken people.

I guess it's a little silly to be complaining about this now. Homosexuals have definitely seen worse days, but what it is that I have a problem with is that, even in today’s western culture’s unfastened acceptance of race and sexual orientation, people are still saying no to same-sex marriage when we have clearly reached the point at which a winning verdict is foreseeable. There is no doubt that the means are no longer justifying the end. The troubling thing here is that the only thing we have to blame for the delay, and the whole thing for that matter, are the world’s sacred texts. It would seem that they have managed to breed a generation of bigots akin to those that still support genocide and slavery, bigots who can hopefully be superseded in conscience voting. Guys, it's time. It's time to identify with the fact that there are still Hitlers in the world that need ignoring and it's time to realise that now we are simply just biding time 'til gay men and women anywhere can marry without the need for plane tickets, so just do it already and let us get on with...ah, I don't know, withdrawing the troops, fixing the economy, running the country? Those are just some suggestions, just as long as it’s not unnecessarily preventing people from living their lives.

‘Civil-unions are basically the same as marriage.’ Fuck you.

12/12/11: Added photo, because, let’s face it, I had to.

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