Monday, March 4, 2013

Personality & Private Parts

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I thought about writing a thousand words. I thought about writing five hundred astoundingly sarcastic ones to mask my petulance. I thought about writing a single sentence, not a whole lot longer than the title. But there was no quenching the thirst that I had to get my point across. A million words or five, it wouldn't make any difference. I figure I'm not going to change the way anybody thinks on this particular matter anyway, the same way that I can't possibly cover every single possible scenario that one may find themselves in regarding this. I’ve also gone over distrusting relationships already as well, but we’ve all heard that one piece of nonsense that makes all of what I said there garbage, “it’s not that I don’t trust my partner, it’s just that I don’t trust their friend”; you know, dumb stuff. So, let’s try this at a more rudimentary level, shall we. Here's what I think: if two people are friends, and I mean that in the strictest sense of the word, then the gender of each party is completely meaningless.

I'm sorry, but I'm not wrong.

I’m not speaking from a cultural bias either, undoubtedly that’s what I trust a lot of people think when I say this, with my white liberal upbringing and all. Nope! It’s actually coming from a being normal bias of mine; it's a bit of a hang-up I have from when I was normal.

Excuse me for being frank, but I don’t give a shit what any culture or religion says about the differences between men and women. When a person is in a loving relationship, there are no differences. But no, no, majority of people prefer to view gender as some personality flaw, and that’s not right. I’m not suddenly going to try and steal your girlfriend simply because I’m male, even if I am single, nor is some girl going to abscond with me just because she’s female.

Take me for instance; when I have a girlfriend, I view my friends in the same light that I view dogs: no matter male or female, a dog’s still a dog and a friend’s still a friend; I wouldn’t have sex with a dog and I wouldn’t have sex with a friend.

I do realise that as humans we are always taking cues from our biological urges, but there’s still a fine line between personality and private parts.


Oh, and just as a quick foot-note for any of my friend’s boyfriends who may be reading: when my sights are actually set on a person, I don’t muck around. So if you truly think that I’m after your girl but I’ve already had one or two of what you think are dates with her, and you decide that you don’t want her to see me anymore as a pre-emptive strike. Well calm your little booties princess, because if something were actually going to happen, you’re too late because it already has! Mark my words, I would not leave any doubt.

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