Wednesday, October 23, 2013

She No Like the White Man!

In terms of racism, I don't have a real lot to complain about because I’m white, and thank god for that shit! But I've never been met with so much racism as I have whenever I’ve tried to take an Asian girl out on a date. Them bitches were racist, and there’s a lot of that going around.

If you're a white guy and you're dating an Asian girl, there is no girl you cannot get, because most Asian girls have no interest in us. I mean, you'd have a shot with Megan Fox, Asma al-Assad, any of the nuns from Sister Act - by my standards, completely unattainable women. In the romantic-marketplace, to Asian females, we're like the condom section: they walk straight past us as quickly as possible hoping no body saw us near them. Ekhhh! A white boy! Get me an oriental man ASAP!

When I say that though, I’m talking about young people like me. You can be white, but if you're over fifty and that bitch came in an envelope, that doesn't count. Don’t be expecting any pats on the back from me.

And It’s not that I have a problem with rejection or anything if that's what's swimming around your head; receiving or dealing. Quite the contrary in fact, I find rejection somewhat cathartic. Beats the shit out of having awkward begrudging sex, that's for sure! It’s the reason I was denied that frustrates me. It has nothing to do with my muscle-tone, my height, my weight, my teeth, my geriatric-cynicism, it’s my race. I was at a Filipino girl’s sleepover once, unbeknownst to me, nobody was actually going to sleep over. So that left me, stuck in some trainless suburb in the middle of the night, and she joked about what her parents would think waking up in the morning and finding some 'white boy' sleeping on their couch. Now, I’m sure she was just kidding around, but I was less than amused because that was some racist ass bullshit! It’s because these girls don’t see a person, they just see an asexual walking white box when they look at people like me, sort of like what you would put over an ex-wife in a really nice picture of your family, and aside from guys, no body wants to have sex with a box.

Who knows? Maybe I’m the one that's racist. Perhaps I’m the one walking around with the deep-ceded sense of superiority over other races, and how dare one of them reject me? Maybe this is my mechanism for dealing with my own bigotry, by pointing my pale finger at the race in question. Eh! Who knows? Just talking shit. Shit-ballin? Ew, no! I take that back!

Bullshit aside, that's why whenever I see an Asian chicky-babe with one of my many white-brothers, I fucking rejoice. I could take that couple by the hand and break into a scene akin to the black gospel churches lead by James Brown in the Blues Brothers. Amen to that shit!

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