Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Why are Everybody Such Good Drivers?

...is what people should be whinging about.

It's my opinion that humans were never meant to operate vehicles and heavy-machinery. We're too easily-distracted, and distraction doesn't bode well with being in control of a high-speed box of steel. But contrary to every trite, clich├ęd complaint you've heard from either yourself or others about other drivers, I actually think that we're all very good at driving. I'm not being sarcastic. There would be way more crashes and way more fatalities if we really were as bad as we all say we are, don't you think?

Let me just draw this picture in your head: peak-hour traffic. Two lanes. It's so congested that you feel like you're sperm trying to impregnate the city. I want to go left, she wants to go right. We are literally boxes of painted-steel, centimetres apart with extremely high blood pressure. We all want to get home to our husbands/Xboxes/girls we're trying to bang, but this steel cluster-fuck is in the way. And yet, you'll get to wherever you're going without a scratch on your car. How is that possible! If we really were bad drivers, it would just be fucking dodge 'em cars. A few minutes in peak hour traffic and you'd need a panel-beater! Sometimes getting through these car parks we call Sydney's roads is like trying to get a plutonium core out of a missile without touching the magnetic edges, but we do it somehow! Not too shabby, I must say.

You might be thinking, "Yeah, okay. Now give me some hard-facts, David!" Well firstly, my name's not David, and secondly, let me put this to you: One of the media's many Christmas presents to us in this state is telling us how many people have died on the roads during the holiday season. Every year, they tally it up like the state governments are running a competition on who shouts the beers this year. When the kill count numbers are low, you can almost hear the disappointment in the news anchor's voices, just like last Christmas’ reported seven deaths over the eleven day period. Seven out of the entire state, that is. Have you ever seen NSW on a map? It's big. We have over seven million people here, and only seven of them died? Last census found just under seventeen million registered vehicles, and only up to seven of them managed to hit someone. Bad drivers? Get real! By late December, 2000, one of the worst holiday seasons for road accidents in my memory, twenty-five NSW deaths were reported for that holiday period. So, while everybody's too busy whinging about unsubstantiated opinions, I'm not seeing a real lot of solid facts.

With seventeen million monoliths of steel tearing around corners and flying through amber-signals, I need a number around the five hundred mark to garner a response! Give me images akin to ones after an al-Assad massacre or after a train veers off the rails and off a bridge into a deep lake. Then maybe, juuuust maybe I'll credit complaints about "bad driving." However, while there may not be bad drivers, I'd be delusional if I said that there weren't a fuck-tonne of impolite drivers out there, but that's bore-snore! You'd often find that the driving has nothing to do with the rudeness, and that driving-style is merely a reflection of one's personality. So, when you take the car out of the equation, those people are still fuckin’ rude!

We're good drivers.

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