Saturday, August 23, 2014


like the book

I've been sober, I've been tipsy, I've been drunk and I've been a blackout drunk, I've even made absent-minded decisions, but not once have I ever lost control of my actions. No matter how hammered, sober-Ryan has always had to sign off on what I do first. That's why I think that anybody who's ever used the "but I was drunk" excuse is completely full of shit. Here's why:

I personally don't think anybody has ever done anything simply because they were "drunk." And I truly mean "anything." I think it would be much more accurate to say that deep down, some people just aren't very nice, so when they heard that others are buying intoxication as an excuse, they hit the jackpot.

Really, in the beginning, drinking was just an excuse that men cooked up to justify banging women that aren't their wives, and those fuckers are getting away with it. It's genius really, because we have found a medical reason for cheating! You know, the type of shit you can get a doctor's certificate for! "Ryan will be unable to not commit adultery between the hours of 8pm and 8am as he is suffering from severe intoxication." Chicks weren't buying our excuses, so we needed medical professionals to get on our side too.

Of course, I'm not disputing the fact that alcohol loosens inhibitions and impairs judgement. I've acted like a moron drunk, but I chose to act like a moron. If I cheated, it's because at heart I didn't like my girlfriend, not because a Grey Goose told me to!

Why people are buying this garbage, I will never know! All alcohol does is loosen you up to pave the way for your deepest (and sometimes darkest) desires to fizzle to the surface. Alcohol is a truth-serum, not a new identity. So, no matter how closeted you are, if you're a cheater at the bar, then you're a cheater at heart. Kind people aren't getting drunk and committing genocide. It's not meth! It's just alcohol!

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